Her Life, His Way

She climbs ever upwards.

Blog
- Recent Posts
- Holy Living
  - Faith
  - Happiness
  - Intimacy / Sex
  - Marriage
  - Modesty
  - Parenting
  - Prayer
  - Priorities
Meet the Authors
Shop
Contact

Category: Song of Solomon

Sex and Relationship Advice from the Song of Solomon

September 8, 2016

Have you ever wondered why God gave us sexuality but then didn’t give us any real practical ways to be able to control it? … More Sex and Relationship Advice from the Song of Solomon

12 Comments Sex and Relationship Advice from the Song of Solomon

Why I Won’t Let My Husband Be Away from Me

June 9, 2014

{Please note: This post is recommended for the married, or those of a marriageable age. There is nothing explicit in this post, but I am discussing the marriage relationship. While I try to do this in a delicate and sensible way, if such things offend you, please refrain from reading further!} I never let my husband … More Why I Won’t Let My Husband Be Away from Me

12 Comments Why I Won’t Let My Husband Be Away from Me

Search this site

Search for:

Follow on Facebook!

Follow on Facebook!

Recent Recipes and Ramblings

Boldly Before the Throne of Grace // Praying to the God Who Takes Away Shame
Boldly Before the Throne of Grace // Praying to the God of Deliverance
Cut to the Heart: A Deeper Look at Self-Harm
3 Ways God Strengthens You When You Feel Inadequate
Boldly Before the Throne of Grace| Praying to the God of Small Things
Loving God When You Don’t Feel Like It
The Thorn in My Side: What I Learnt When God Didn’t Take Away My Anxiety
Don’t Tell Me to Just Be Happy: 5 Verses for When Joy Seems Impossible
Are You Sure That You Know God?
When Silence is Just

Zeke’s Sunday ebook – 3.99

Follow Zeke as he gets ready for worship and learns how to act. Perfect for individual use or a Bible class visual aid.

Follow on Instagram

Yes, you have been through the fire You have gathered many scars You can barely recognize yourself, I know— you’ve journeyed from afar. But you’re brilliant and brave, though you just feel worn and weary. Let me tell you, now, my child: you're exactly where you should be. You're up for any challenge, you’re anything but broken. Your soul is beautiful, you're strong, through the words that I have spoken. Look closer, now, my child Do you see that light? I see it shining from you— you have been purified through heartache and through fire through whelming floods of tears— through trials and persecutions, through crushing, blinding fears. Just a few trials more, my child. You are looking more like me. Just strive a little longer— and then, eternity. —Chantelle @herlifehisway

Join me over on my Facebook page at 6pm CST (4pm AZ; 5pm MST; 7pm EST) for a study of 1 Peter 2:18-25. I’m so excited to dive into this passage with you! To be notified of when I go live, follow me over at www.facebook.com/herlifehisway 💕

Oh, heart, are you so quick to forget? He has already promised. You have known for a long time that He has made promises for a time like this—times when you would be tempted to be afraid that God want your Rock. He has promised that you can rest in Him content, if just your daily necessities are provided (1 Ti 6:8)—but more than that—He promises that He will then provide that food and clothing, if you only seek the kingdom first, above all else (Matthew 6:25-34). He comforts you when your anxieties rise, “no matter how bad it gets, if you trust me, I will give you enough to be content in every situation.” Soul, don’t you see? This is what you’ve been preparing yourself for all this time. All those times you’ve poured over scripture—telling yourself that you should be content with all your abundance, because you should also be happy with less. Maybe now is that time. The time to experience and learn to be happy with less—to practice what you’ve been preparing for all this time. To be content in l a c k. And don’t worry, He has a promise for you in this time too. And you know this verse: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I can be content, if I seek His kingdom (Mt 6:33), practice godliness (1 Ti 6:6), cast every anxiety that threatens my contentment on Him (Ph 4:6), and choose to think on good things (v. 😎. He promises. He will teach you how to be content. How to trust Him. Even now. To lean into Him still closer—even if it gets worse than you can imagine. Always. Soul, you know His promises. Now is the time to t r u s t them—to seek His kingdom when you might want to seek other things—and, in this time of trial, to taste and see that He is s t i l l good. 📖: "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ...I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11-13) “But godliness with contentment is great gain... But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content" (1 Timothy 6:8). “But seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you" (Matthew 6:25-34).

I'm so excited for this, you guys! We're bringing you the timely message of 1 Peter—a letter of continuing to be faithful, build relationships, and do good works during troubled times. We know many of you have ladies’ days and retreats cancelled at this time, so we’re hoping this brings you some comfort, encouragement, and company! Go and follow me (Her Life, His Way) Come Fill Your Cup and join the Wifey Wednesdays group (link in recent post) on FACEBOOK to know when we’re going live! Let me know in the comments below if you’re in—and don't forget to share and tag your friends over on the Facebook post! 😘

Disappointment. It’s taking me a bit to process exactly how I’m feeling. Just like that—my busy Spring became very unbusy. All my art markets, which I have poured time and money into, have been cancelled. Who knows when my next one will be. My trip to speak to the ladies in Estes, TN has been cancelled. Our trip to Singapore in May will probably be cancelled. I know, I have SO, SO much to be thankful for—but honestly I’m just disappointed. Disappointed for opportunities lost. I know that God has a plan for me during this time—to show grace and love and bring joy to others during this time of uncertainty—and I will find it. I’m determined to not only find the silver lining for myself, but also find a way to make this time of social distancing a time when I make more of an effort to show people I’m here for them. I have so much to be thankful for—we all do. There’s always something to be thankful for. But for those who are disappointed—know that your disappointment is O K. Cry it out. Grieve over opportunities lost. Take the time ti process exactly how you’re feeling and why. Don’t let anyone tell you your feelings are worthless because you’re not really suffering any true loss. You CAN be faithful through fear and complaint—you can cry out in pain and still have a prayer full of praise and gratitude. No matter who else is willing to listen, remember that God is always ready to hear your cries and complaints, disappointments and fears. He’s big enough to carry us through both our greatest tragedies and tiniest disappointments. Also I am here. If you just want to talk about how you feel without judgment, I’m here. Because we KNOW we are blessed—we KNOW it could be worse—but also it’s just uncertain and disappointing—and it’s okay to feel all those feels. Use your disappointment and dissatisfaction with this broken world to further strengthen your relationship with God and shape your prayers ...then get out there and do some good with this new arena of opportunity. . 📖: “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). #herlifehisway

Are you worrying about Coronavirus in the same way the world does? The world worries and stresses and moans about potential health threats like there’s no hope, but we—we who bear the name of our Saviour—should realize more than anyone that “to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Even when the worst happens and sickness and threats of death enter our lives, we realize that we don’t need “to sorrow like those who have no hope”. We should realize that “He holds the whole world in His hands”, that HE is in control, and that anything He absolutely does not want to happen just WON’T happen. How much do we trust Him? Or how much do we believe that WE are in control of every single time we or those we love happen fall ill? The answer becomes clear in times like these. If God doesn’t want you to get sick, you won’t. If He decides you will fall ill—all the hand-sanitizer in the world won’t save you—not even that fortress of toilet paper you’ve built around you. Is this virus a threat? Not as much, I think as the media makes it out to be. But even if it is? It is N O T H I N G compared to my Saviour who ”uphold[s] all things by the word of his power”. He. Is. In. Control. How much do you b e l i e v e that in the face of scary things? Wash your hands—by all means, PLEASE do—but more importantly remember to fold those hands in prayer. ...and no matter the answer—“let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator” (1 Peter 4:19). While the world panics—we pray, continue doing good, and experience the peace that passes ALL the world’s understanding. // 1 Thessalonians 4:13; Philippians 1:21; Hebrews 1:3 \\

One thing I've been slowly learning over 10 years of marriage is that my husband will always be himself. He will always want to tell those corny jokes—whether I choose to scold and frown or to giggle and roll my eyes playfully. He will always find love in my acts of service, whether I choose to serve him or tell him (with all the feminist venom I can muster) that he is fully capable of doing it himself, thank-you-very-much. He will always appreciate those same things, whether I chose to serve him in that way or not. He will always be my less-emotional-than-me rock if a man—whether I choose to admire and uphold his strengths or belittle his weaknesses. Of course, my husband can and will grow and has grown, but what he grows into will always be a stronger, more self-controlled, more temperate version of himself. I can’t change who he fundamentally is, all I can do is either choose to love him as he is—as God made him to be. To ask him to adorn a different set of strengths is to try to bend him in a way that God never intended—to try to take the place of God and tell Him that the man he made isn’t good enough. And so when he throws out those ridiculously corny jokes, I choose to laugh—and I see the man I married, the man I dated, the man I know and love so much better now, but who is still that same man. And when I accept that he is who he is and always will be, we both change for the better—in all the ways God intended—and we both end up smiling and laughing instead of annoyed and hurt. Love how you would want to be loved: love people for who they are, for everything God made them to be, and in a way they can feel truly loved. And that can be as simple as choosing to smile instead of scold—knowing that they will always be who they are, and you can either delight in that or become the angry, nagging woman who makes her husband dread coming home. I can’t change who he is, but whether I respond sweetly or venomously is my choice. Lord, help me be sweet. // Proverbs 21:19; 31:10-12 \\ #herlifehisway

How much have you struggled over your Bible knowledge? • We've been studying about Reformation history and how it brought the Biblical text in the English language to us as it is today—and what had really struck me during this study is how much they were willing to sacrifice and suffer for the privilege of simply knowing and helping others to know what the Bible says. Would I be willing to do that? Do I act like I'm ready to die for the privilege of holding these precious words in my hands? 📖 When I glance at a verse, have no idea what it says, and am satisfied to walk away without struggling to find out what it really says— 📖 When I skip over topics because they’re boring or difficult and I choose only to study what I know or interests me— 📖 When, after years of study, I'm content to only know what's fed to me by others— —how can I say the Word is truly worthwhile to me? If I haven’t invested anything in it, how much will it really mean to me? You know, Satan tried to destroy the Bible—he tried to restrict access and persecuted those who tried to possess it—now I believe he’s trying to make the Word so commonplace that we don’t appreciate the fact we have GOD’S WORD in m a n y versions on our shelves and on e v e r y device. In the past people died for just holding a part of the Bible—but we can find it in its entirety at the dollar store, the thrift store, for free online at a click... But just because the Bible is everywhere—that doesn’t mean it is worthless. And also—just because it’s on your shelf that doesn’t mean that you really own it. Make sure it’s in your heart, not just on your shelf. Make sure you make it precious to you by investing plenty of time and struggle into your pursuit of His will. Create in yourself the heart of someone who would die to know exactly what God wants for the world—and would be willing to suffer and sacrifice anything to share His will with others. To truly have the Word mean something to you, you’re going to have to struggle, spend, and sacrifice. What will that look like for you? #herlifehisway

I used to think that mental illnesses were a sign of spiritual weakness—that any depression or anxiety experienced by the Christian meant they just weren’t trying hard enough. I also used to think that any measures taken—whether counseling, therapy, or medicine—were wrong. The Bible was enough. The church was enough. God was enough. Anyone who didn’t see this was just weak. But then I experienced extreme perinatal anxiety—real, crippling anxiety—and I learnt what it was like to have intrusive thoughts enter into my head that I didn’t dream up. Thoughts that had no reason to be there. Visions of jumping or falling out of a window. An overwhelming fear of banisters and heights. A constant feeling of dread and doom, despite knowing and telling myself that everything was okay, that God was in control... With the encouragement of my husband, I sought help—and was diagnosed with OCD and PTSD. I still believed that mental illnesses were a weakness—and so the guilt ate me up, at first. So while my therapist believed I should start medication, I tried to tick all the boxes: I was praying, studying, + involved in church; taking care of my physical health with exercise + good food; reaching out + being social—I was doing everything “right” and I still wasn’t “better”. And so, in desperation, after trying everything, I took prozac—and I realized once and for all that there are chronic diseases of the brain that we can’t fix ourselves. Christians, if you’ve: 1) ruled out worldly anxieties (Matt 6:25-34); 2) trusted that God is in control; 3) done everything to bring your thoughts captive (2 Co 10:5); 4) cast your every care on Him (Phil 4:6-7); 5) actively practiced righteousness—and there is STILL something wrong? There nothing, nothing wrong with seeking whatever professional + medical help it is you need to find relief from your pain. And if it does mean that you have a weakness? What IS it that God says about our weaknesses? 🤔 His grace and strength are sufficient for every 👏single 👏one 👏 In fact, it’s our weaknesses that make His power PERFECT (2 Co 12:9). No matter your battle, if you are clinging to God through it all—you have NO reason to be ashamed.

You try so hard to instill good manners and morals in your children. You try so hard for so long. "What do you say?" is said 100 billion times a day (at least, that's what it seems). You have battles of willpower as your child refuses to say "please", pray, or help with the chores. You wonder whether your child will ever take these things on board, if you'll be reminding them for the rest of their lives, or if you are going to mess them up entirely. And then... THEN... after DAYS and MONTHS and YEARS—your child says, "Thank you" without being reminded. They stop before the open door without running out or having a tantrum. They say the sweetest prayer you could ever imagine with prompting. They sit still throughout the whole worship period. They give you the longest hug they've ever given you—without you asking. And you think to yourself—all of that pain and struggle involved in trying to maintain consistency was worth it. Some days seem so long, I know. Consistency is hard. But it IS so so so worth it. I hold two sayings close to my heart during these early years—years full of fun, but also full of just plain hard work: "The days are long and the years are short" and "These years are full of sowing and not a lot of reaping—yet." Sometimes it feels like you're doing everything and achieving nothing—but hold to it, mamas. Consistency doesn't pay off overnight but it does pay off. And I know, some days are so so long—but the years are short and the reward is GREAT. Hang in there mama. Keep training. Don't let the world tell you how to parent. Trust the Lord—don't lean on your own understanding—and He shall direct your paths. Even as you parent. #herlifehisway

Seize those small, in-between moments of the day to connect with Him. It doesn’t have to be a certain amount of time. It doesn’t have to be uninterrupted. And certainly doesn’t have to be perfect. Because despite all it is not, what it will definitely do is strengthen you and give you focus. The perfection rests in the persistence of the pursuit. Don’t let your idea of perfect come between you and things that are good. 📖 “I will meditate on Your commandments and set my mind on Your ways” (Psalm 119:15). #herlifehisway

When you are feeling unsteady and out-of-place, facing uncertain situations, and your abilities seem inadequate to the tasks and trials ahead, remember: you were created for t h i s space. • Have confidence in the fact He created you for good works (Ephesians 2:10). • Have confidence in God's ability to recreate and transform you in the areas you are lacking, especially when you feel stretched beyond all your limits (Romans 12:1-2; James 1:2-4). • Have confidence in His supremacy: He rules both Heaven and earth—you will never lack anything that you truly need to have success in doing His work (Matthew 28:18-20). • Have confidence in the position He gave you and promise that holds: you have been adopted by Him—chosen to have a part in His blessings, inheriting the earth and a place in Heaven because of who your Father is (Romans 8:15; Matthew 5:5). You were created for this space, for this time, for your circumstances, for the people that surround you—to seek Him, to do good, to conquer, to gain the victory, and to bring as many people along with you as possible. Take courage, my friend. He did not create you for failure. 📖: "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10). "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces patience. And let patience have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4). #herlifehisway

KEEP SHINING ANYWAY • Do you ever feel like your work is going unnoticed and unappreciated? I think we all do, at times—and we certainly aren't alone in feeling this. Think about it: Jesus COMPLETELY changed the lives of the ten lepers—but only one turned around to thank Him. He asked the one, “Where are the none?” And really, where were they?! Here were 10 men doomed to die a slow painful death, Jesus healed them, and yet the majority of them didn't even stop to give a simple “thank you” for this life-changing help He had graciously extended. And here’s the thing we need to remember: Jesus' work was NOT meaningless, despite the lack of acknowledgement. Sometimes you may help people who never acknowledge that you were a help to them. They may not even ever thank you. They may even dislike you. And you know what? That’s totally okay. How can we expect any different, when Jesus Himself was unappreciated? Just keep doing what you know is right. Ripple after ripple, change will happen. Whether your part in it is acknowledged or not, you still had a part. You may have a great impact on people and never hear about it—but if absolutely no one acknowledges our work but Christ, then we have done well. Keep shining, bright light. 💡⭐️ • 📖: "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1). "Then Jesus answered, "Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?" (Luke 17:7).

I'm sure a few of you have noticed that I don't post on here all that much. That hasn't been entirely out of laziness I promise, it's mostly because I've been pretty sick for about five months now. I won't go into detail about it, but basically I had flair up of my panic disorder, a sinus infection, an ear infection, pneumonia, and a couple other infections I'd rather not mention. And even though my symptoms have subsided, I can't seem to get better · No, this isn't me trying to throw myself a pity party. I promise. But because of all this illness, I've fallen into what we are pretty sure is malnutrition. I'm underweight, my hair and skin are dry and brittle, moving around is difficult as I feel weak all the time, I have a consistent high fever, hot and cold flashes, I get upset far too easily, and I'm completely unable to work, go to school, or even go to church about 75% of the time. · It's really easy to think, "why aren't people checking up on me?" "Why don't people care?" "Why doesn't that person seem to be concerned?" It's easy to feel alone when you actually Are alone about 99% of the time. It's easy to think, "But I've been there for so many people. Why isn't anyone here for me?" · I don't seem to be the only one who struggles with this. I see things that express the same concerns posted all over social media. A lot of people seem to be "the kind of person who helps everyone but never gets any help themselves." It can be so easy to feel that way sometimes, can't it? · So I did something. I reached out to a couple people. And you know what happened? They were more than willing to give me encouragement. As it turns out, funnily enough, people don't usually know your needs until you tell them. And of course people are going to act like everything with you is fine, if you don't tell them that everything isn't fine. Why didn't I realize this before? · But on an even larger scale, God sees and knows our every need and He's waiting for us to go to Him. He's waiting for us to say, "Hey I'm going through this. Will you please help me?” So please. Reach out to your Christian family. Reach out to God. Ask for help. There's absolutely no shame in openness. -JM

Oh Lord God,  I'm thankful that you are the God of my little struggles as much as you are the God of the bigger things. You are the Master of the Universe, but you are also the Master of my life—every piece of it.  Sometimes I forget that—I try to struggle along by myself and things get out of balance.  You are the God who can move mountains and who keeps my tears in a bottle. You care about my every struggle, small and great—increase my faith so that I may trust in your power to bring me through every one. #herlifehisway • Continue reading: https://herlifehisway.com/2019/08/20/boldly-before-the-throne-of-grace-praying-to-the-god-of-small-things/

He is always good—and He is always, always enough. More than enough. Exceedingly abundantly more. Even when we aren’t. Even when this life isn’t. When everything else in this broken world lets us down—He is always there. And He is everything we could ever possibly need. 📖: "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5-6). #herlifehisway

Self-reliance and pride say, “I can fix this problem myself by just being ‘good’ enough”—but faithfulness and trust say, “I know the one Who can fix this, and I’ll trust in Him and lean on Him—even if I never see the day He fixes my mind or body on this side of eternity.” We seriously miss the point when we think the point of the trial is to work harder on strengthening ourselves—because the true point of any storm is to let it bring us closer to Christ and to find our every strength and need supplied by His perfect power and provision. We don’t need to be stronger, we need to lean on Him harder. When we are weak, then we are strong. It is He who strengthens us, not we who strengthen ourselves. When we work to “fix” ourselves, His light isn’t shining—it is we who get the glory. His light shines brightest when we fully acknowledge our weakness and full dependence on Him. That’s when HE gets the glory for our victories. Maybe sometimes the reason we struggle and fall so much is because we haven’t fully grasped that yet. Maybe He’s trying to show you through your trials that you aren’t strong enough and that you desperately, desperately need to draw closer and cling to Him. When the storm is crashing around you, and you find yourself fighting and flailing against the raging current—lift up your eyes and cling tightly to His outstretched hand. //2 Corinthians 12:9, 10; Ephesians 6:10; Philippians 4:13; Matthew 15:30, 31\\

“Our value, yours and mine, derives from our origin. We often read Psalm 139 to bolster our self-esteem. But when Psalm 139 reflects that humans are fearfully and wonderfully made, it does so to raise our eyes from our mirrors to our Creator. It’s a passage about w h o made us before it is a passage about what He made. It is an appeal to origin-based value.” —Jen Wilkin, None Like Him #nonelikehim @jenwilkin #herlifehisway

Topics

anxiety Balance Bible Birth church confidence Culture dating Dear Young Mum Depression Family Fitness Food God Grace Gratitude Habits Happiness Happy Home Healthy Healthy Living Healthy Mind Holiness Holy Living Homeschooling Homosexuality How to Study Husband Intimacy / Sex Love Marriage Ministry Minor Prophets Mission Moments Mission work Modesty Nutrition Opinions / Conscience Parenting Pornography Postpartum Prayer Pregnancy Priorities purity Reader Question Relationships repentance Self Care Shame Singleness Song of Solomon Stewardship Technology The Blushing Bride Series Trials Uncategorized Womanhood Worship Worthy Woman Wednesday

Recent Recipes and Ramblings

Boldly Before the Throne of Grace // Praying to the God Who Takes Away Shame January 10, 2020
Boldly Before the Throne of Grace // Praying to the God of Deliverance November 24, 2019
Cut to the Heart: A Deeper Look at Self-Harm September 18, 2019
3 Ways God Strengthens You When You Feel Inadequate September 9, 2019
Boldly Before the Throne of Grace| Praying to the God of Small Things August 20, 2019
Loving God When You Don’t Feel Like It August 2, 2019
The Thorn in My Side: What I Learnt When God Didn’t Take Away My Anxiety June 7, 2019
Don’t Tell Me to Just Be Happy: 5 Verses for When Joy Seems Impossible February 19, 2019
Are You Sure That You Know God? February 16, 2019
When Silence is Just February 1, 2019

Instagram Feed

Blog at WordPress.com.

Post to

Cancel